The misalignment pattern: why we outgrow what used to work
When mindset won’t move you: realign your rhythm so the next step becomes obvious.
We’ve just landed in a new home.
Chickens wandering.
Kids inventing worlds from sticks and rope.
A salt pool, a cold spring threading past the garden.
The first evening we arrived, everyone exhaled at the same time.
Oh… this is what safe feels like.
My shoulders dropped. The jaw unclenched. The noise in my head thinned.
A month earlier we were doing the opposite…. performing to other people’s standards, trying to keep everything “perfect,” paying for it with our nervous systems.
We finished well (integrity matters), but it cost us.
The contrast I spoke of her IS the lesson:
There comes a point where we simply outgrow what used to work.
The structures, roles, paces and coping strategies that once earned us belonging or stability… became a size too small.
On paper all looks dandy, but in your body it’s a hell no.
If you’re familiar with that feeling aka tight throat, clenched gut, hyper-functional but exhausted- this is for you.
Why we outgrow what used to work
Your nervous system is the ceiling on your clarity.
When you’re spun up (even subtly) everything skews.
Your world shrinks to “make it stop.”
You’ll reach for familiar armour:
clever plans…productivity… people pleasing… performing… because your wiring is trying to keep you alive.
But the key move here is not to out-think it; it’s to downshift it =
Regulate (nervous system) → so you can actually be present and calm in the situation → and then choose.
“Your protectors are terrible data scientists but wonderful bodyguards.”
The Pleaser, the Controller, the Chameleon, the Good One…
Credits due, they kept you safe once. But now they distort the signal.
Now every yes/no feels loaded with “prove yourself.”
When we give you the space to identify and name them (out loud), they usually drop their weapons and step aside.
Because when you meet them with kindness, the urge loosens its grip.
And it’s astonishing HOW FAST the room changes when a protector feels seen.
Your body speaks in yes / no.
Beneath the overthinking there’s a simple yes or no. Your gut, breath, and body vote. When you can hear it, choices get simpler (not always easy, just clearer.) The work isn’t forcing an answer; it’s creating the safety and quietness wihin where it can be heard.
Mindset tries to shout over the signal.
Somatics turns the noise down and brings you back into rhythm with yourself. That’s the work.
A little window into this (client in her, 40s, ex-big tech)
She arrived with the line I hear so often: “I don’t need another plan. I need to feel my next step.”
So we didn’t add pressure. We changed the pace.
We sat. We breathed how humans breathe when they’re allowed to arrive. A few rounds of gentle humming to soften the jaw and light up the vagus nerve. The face changed first - the tiny, unforced smile you can’t fake. Shoulders remembered gravity. And then the thing that matters most arrived: signal.
From there, we mapped her energetic operating manual through three lenses (Human Design, Gene Keys, Astrology). Not to put fate in a box - to give language to what her body already knew.
She’s a classic responder: life goes better when she answers what lights up, not when she tries to force outcomes.
We discovered that her decisions live in the gut, not in the deck.
We made one clean correction: trade a big should for a single gut-yes choice. No justifying tour.
Then we set a two-week MAP (my Minimum Actionable Plan) two tiny experiments that match her rhythm: unphoned time in nature; creating art with hands with no outcome attached.
Tracking what lifts energy, what leaks it. Speak it out. Adjust.
What changed? Not “more clarity” - a different clarity. The kind you feel as a whole-body yes, not a overly though out spreadsheet win. Stakeholders stopped steering her life. The ‘shoulds’ lost their grip.
And her nervous system finally believed her when she said: not like this.
If you’re here right now
Maybe you’ve been the one holding the room together for years.
You know exactly how to perform; you just struggle to belong to yourself.
You keep researching your way to a decision because choosing one path feels like betraying all the others.
And somewhere in all of that, you stopped hearing your own yes/no.
You’re not alone and it’s OK.
There’s nothing wrong with you.
You’ve just been living out of tempo with your deeper rhythm.
It just requires a different approach than what you have been used to up to now.
Think less “fix” and more “homecoming.”
More slower, warmer, nearer, safer. A kitchen light on. Soup on the stove. A body that’s safe enough to finally tell the truth.
What we actually do together in a Soul Clarity Blueprint
I hold a short, potent container designed for high-functioning, high-sensing people who want self-understanding before strategy. It’s gentle, precise, and pointed toward a single outcome: you can hear your signal again.
We arrive. We settle your system so your clarity can surface (breath, simple vagal toning, nothing performative).
We name your rhythm. Using Human Design, Gene Keys, and Astrology (as mirrors, not dogma) we articulate what energises vs. drains, where your decisions live, and the patterns (hello protectors) that keep hijacking the wheel.
We make one clean correction. A small, honest swap from should to choose. It’s remarkable how much energy returns when you do one true thing.
We give you a MAP. Two weeks, two tiny experiments that fit your actual tempo, one check-in, and exactly what to watch for (signal, not just tasks). You’ll know what to keep, what to drop, and why.
People usually describe the shift less like a breakthrough and more like a soft landing: jaw softer, breath longer, fewer open tabs (in your mind and your browser). A feeling of permission.
The sense that you’re finally allowed to go at your pace - and oddly, that’s when life speeds up in the right ways.
If biology support would help, Eveline (my partner) offers biorhythm + circadian coaching that pairs beautifully with this work - sleep/light/meals aligned so your body stops arguing with your clarity.
If you’ve read this far, maybe your body is already exhaling a little. That’s the point. You don’t need a bigger plan. You need a truer rhythm.
Soul Purpose Blueprint €95 (usually €295)
For intuitive, high-functioning humans who want to come home to themselves so the next step becomes obvious.
You’ll leave with:
Your rhythm named (what truly energises vs. drains).
Your protectors seen (so they stop driving).
One embodied next step plus a two-week MAP to test it gently in real life.
Here’s the link to book your Soul Purpose Blueprint Deep Dive
Come back home to yourself. The rest gets simpler.